Wednesday, August 31, 2011

little school girls!


Cute Slideshow!!!

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Did you have a little school friend... a sweet little reminder of school...
I remember like it was yesterday my little friends in kindergarten...
I remember one girlfriend and I were so close that when she got the chickenpox the teacher called my mother to let her know that I could stay home too just in case... She would pretend to whisper in my ears a little secret but instead of a secret she would kiss my ears... it was so sweet. I had another sweet friend that had the coolest charm bracelets and my little ponies I ever had seen! We played all the time and even held hands at the playground...

all of these sweet friends are still my best friends...
some live close, some far, but we're all still great friends..

There is something about kindergarten... it's so innocent and special... and I'm loving it so...

as for our little Isabelle...
She doesn't want the weekend to come... she loves school so much!
She's learning to play the whoolooot... the shhhhheeeeoooow... the wait a minute Mamma... the FLUTE!!!
really... the shiny silver thing... yes... the FLUTE!
I loved playing the flute too in school! SO HAPPY!

Monday, August 29, 2011

school girl...

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Our BIG girl...
what a feeling...
what a big beautiful feeling!

Nothing quite describes it... that heavy huge soaked up heart feeling...
but in the end it feels good.. really good!

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this is when my eyes started filling...
gulp gulp... hold it together
keep holding
holding...

don't ache!

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this is when the first tear dripped down my cheeks...
the hanging of the backpack...
that got me.

but I held it together...

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and this is what makes me smile...
this happy face..
I have to be happy too!

Once I got through that first day... Once I realized there is no going back... you have to let your girl grow... it's a beautiful thing this life... if you just dwell on kids growing fast... you'll miss out.

I'm not missing out!

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I had a teacher in high school that said some wise words to me...
The sad sad day that I came in second for Senior Class President...I thought my world was over... I cried and cried... stayed after class... told him how I was the BEST girl to be president of our class!
I was crushed... I mean really was it really a big deal.... hahaha..

But he told me, "Kollene, you can be sad for years... you can be sad for 1 year... you can be sad for a month, you can be sad for a week, you can be sad for a day, you can be sad for an hour... but it's up to you... it's your choice how you want your life to be and your choice how long you want to be sad..."
I left his class with my head held high... I wasn't going to be sad anymore...

and when it comes to my daughter starting the next chapter of her life... a school girl... I'm holding my head high again... happy!
but that first day... I chose to be sad... for just that day...

We are so proud of our school girl!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

last days of summer...

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saying goodbye to the summer absolutely crushed me...
it did...
I didn't want to say goodbye... we had too much fun!

When we came back from Sweden I knew it was coming... the day was almost here... I knew it would creep on up and hit my like a dodge ball... unexpected... I knew I would wonder where the time went... where did it go... where does it go!
I always always try to lllllive reallllly live each day so that when the time flies it doesn't hurt so much... but this time it did...

it hurt bad...

my little girl started Kindergarten...

I tried to prepare myself for it the best I could... I tried to do amazing summer things... but nothing can really prepare someone for their children growing up...
it happens and we have to accept it...
life happens...

you can be weepy for a little while but you have to move on... keep on enjoying it... it will fly by at another time... another moment will pass and you will feel this enormous lump in your throat as you choke back a million tears... but really... the only thing we can do is...
enjoy this life!
let the time fly... it flies when you're having fun... so it may as well go fast!

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I didn't want to say goodbye to the summer because I knew with that... would come kindergarten

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I don't know what it is about kindergarten... why it hurts so bad.
I remember clearly starting kindergarten and loving it... I remember it well... and I was scared that I had a child making a memory... a really big memory...
I wanted her to be my little girl forever and ever... and with kindergarten comes the brick wall of a BIG STEP!

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I was afraid that these little sister moments would disappear and sassy big girl moments would take over...

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I was afraid it would all end...

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maybe she wouldn't want to play bubbles...

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or tear off her underpants with her sister and hop in the kiddy pool

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I was afraid that our friends would fade away... our friends that we all grew up together with...

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but they didn't... they don't fade away... they keep growing together with us... like a big garden

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I was so afraid to say goodbye to the summer... I wanted to have sand in every crack of my car... in between my toes... humidity hair...
I was sad to have bedtimes... nap or no nap days...

I just wanted to always and forever live free like we do in the summer...

but you know what... all of my fears feel ok today...
We are heading to the Marina to play in the fountains with a bag of goldfish that can't stay in the car or they will melt
like real goldfish!...

We have a birthday party to go to this weekend... with pirates! real pirates!
We have a friend's pool to hop in to this weekend!
We have dinners at Grandparents!

and the best thing of all... our girls still have fun together...
in fact...
yesterday after Isabelle's first day they played school together...
it helped so much!
To listen to our oldest play school... happily... reassured that she liked her day... her teacher... her new friends.

So I will always hold a little spot for summer... but am welcoming the fall with a big heart!
no fears!

Things will still go on as they do... and we can enjoy this ride!


Monday, August 22, 2011

last days in Sweden

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where we spent nice weather mornings... hours... sipping coffee... reading paper... watching the girls play with Simba the dog... picking berry snacks... listening to birds... beautiful!

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I love old European churches... they are so OLD... so BIG... so PRETTY!
I was explaining to our girls how you can light a candle in a beautiful church to remember someone who's gone, if you're sad, for a sad feeling... then Isabelle said, "Mamma we should light a candle for Great-Pappa (my grandfather who passed away a few years ago)... she had little teary eyes too... it was so sweet... so we got a candle and lit one... it was so nice! I felt good and so did my girls!

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I'm pretty sure that our girls could eat bowls and bowls of raspberries... who couldn't help themselves!
Raspberries are perfection!
the perfect sweet!
At home we buy them in bulk... and they last maybe a half week... just gobble them up!

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Pappa Bear's Grandparent's little beach house... it's always a fun surprise to bike to the beach and see them there... we stop for a bit... have some cookies and coffee... and away we gooooo!

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friends on the beach! sweet summer fun!

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and we always finish with a good Crawfish Party!

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good-bye for now Sweden... We'll see you next year!

Friday, August 19, 2011

two lands... one love

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my heart is pretty full for two places...
I have come to finally accept it...
I'm in love with two lands and maybe that's ok...

I wish Sweden and Florida could be neighbors... just an hour bike ride apart... please!
We would live in the middle...
dive into the gulf one day... sea breeze on my cheeks
then the next day go for a long hike with my girls in the forest.
We would have a little cottage on the shore
we would bike a half hour to the best pastry shop and I would order a little chokladbullar and a cup of kaffe with mjölk and sit for an hour at a little table with the most beautiful roses I have ever seen blooming by my side and watch and listen to people walking by... then I would ride along the shore getting warmer and warmer passing by some sheep and cows then the road begin to flatten and I would see bluer clearer water and a dolphin... no wait... 2 dolphin... the I would have to take off my cardigan and put on my sunglasses I was now in Florida and the parrots were squawking and saying hello!
I now am meeting some friends on the shore with freshly picked oranges for snack! our children are swimming and we are chatting... life is good.
I must now go back to my cottage ...smack in the middle on the shore... have to make dinner for both of my families... a big salmon on the grill with mango salsa... coronas... then some coffee...

a girl can dream right!