Tuesday, August 23, 2011

last days of summer...

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saying goodbye to the summer absolutely crushed me...
it did...
I didn't want to say goodbye... we had too much fun!

When we came back from Sweden I knew it was coming... the day was almost here... I knew it would creep on up and hit my like a dodge ball... unexpected... I knew I would wonder where the time went... where did it go... where does it go!
I always always try to lllllive reallllly live each day so that when the time flies it doesn't hurt so much... but this time it did...

it hurt bad...

my little girl started Kindergarten...

I tried to prepare myself for it the best I could... I tried to do amazing summer things... but nothing can really prepare someone for their children growing up...
it happens and we have to accept it...
life happens...

you can be weepy for a little while but you have to move on... keep on enjoying it... it will fly by at another time... another moment will pass and you will feel this enormous lump in your throat as you choke back a million tears... but really... the only thing we can do is...
enjoy this life!
let the time fly... it flies when you're having fun... so it may as well go fast!

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I didn't want to say goodbye to the summer because I knew with that... would come kindergarten

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I don't know what it is about kindergarten... why it hurts so bad.
I remember clearly starting kindergarten and loving it... I remember it well... and I was scared that I had a child making a memory... a really big memory...
I wanted her to be my little girl forever and ever... and with kindergarten comes the brick wall of a BIG STEP!

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I was afraid that these little sister moments would disappear and sassy big girl moments would take over...

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I was afraid it would all end...

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maybe she wouldn't want to play bubbles...

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or tear off her underpants with her sister and hop in the kiddy pool

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I was afraid that our friends would fade away... our friends that we all grew up together with...

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but they didn't... they don't fade away... they keep growing together with us... like a big garden

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I was so afraid to say goodbye to the summer... I wanted to have sand in every crack of my car... in between my toes... humidity hair...
I was sad to have bedtimes... nap or no nap days...

I just wanted to always and forever live free like we do in the summer...

but you know what... all of my fears feel ok today...
We are heading to the Marina to play in the fountains with a bag of goldfish that can't stay in the car or they will melt
like real goldfish!...

We have a birthday party to go to this weekend... with pirates! real pirates!
We have a friend's pool to hop in to this weekend!
We have dinners at Grandparents!

and the best thing of all... our girls still have fun together...
in fact...
yesterday after Isabelle's first day they played school together...
it helped so much!
To listen to our oldest play school... happily... reassured that she liked her day... her teacher... her new friends.

So I will always hold a little spot for summer... but am welcoming the fall with a big heart!
no fears!

Things will still go on as they do... and we can enjoy this ride!


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