Wednesday, February 26, 2014

more Christmas time snippets.....



Christmas and all of it's spun together web takes little bits here and little bits there to make a beautiful web... today... I finally feel caught up to date with my pictures... 





I say that as I'm posting Christmas pictures... but being a Virgo... can drive one crazy but it's ok.. hahaha...
it's hard as a photographer... I try to only take one picture at a time... really feel the picture as I take it... and make sure it's right... some people ask me how do I ever feel in the moment being a photographer...  do you constantly take pictures and never really feel present... it's completely opposite for me... I promise! I would have no pictures if I felt differently! being a photographer makes me constantly see things... a flour dusted table with dough cutouts... little girls reading a story to their elf that they believe in with all of their hearts... I see these things as beautiful moments... that I have to capture... or else my heart may explode... I have to freeze it so much for just a second longer... because it is... so beautiful.  I see it... I smile.. I grab my camera... watching the moment through the lens feels so right and ... really... seeing it... I snap... then put it away... that's all... and now looking back today on almost 8 years of being a mamma... going through so many photo albums neatly organized and labeled to look at every day... and I am so damn happy I take these moments and document them all... because now I live it over and over and over again... I remember every day... clearly... in focus... and beautifully! and yes it is a pain in the ass organizing each season and backing up onto hard drives... but it's part of me... and I wouldn't want it any other way... 
 

I know one day my girls will look back on images like these... in their underpants entangled in little girl magic of being sisters that love each other more than my heart can handle... I know they will love looking back at memories with me when they are grown... 









this winnie the pooh jacket was mine when I was her age... every time she wears it it takes me back to being her age... I remember getting the zipper stuck in my hair... I remember the way it smelled like my parent's old cedar chest... I think it still even does...



Tuesday, February 11, 2014

trimming the tree...














the days leading to Christmas truly are amazing! I love it so!
We trim our tree just after Thanksgiving... it's always the day we look forward to most! Picking out the tree makes me super nervous... is it going to be fat enough! I make Mattias unwrap all the wet trees in piles... we are full of sap as the girls play tag around the caos! it's perfect! once he unwraps THE tree it's like magic! we all know... it's the one! it's like picking out a puppy maybe! like if we pick a bad one we will be stuck with it all December... but if we pick a good one... the holidays will be that much more magical... hahaha... I don't think there really is a bad tree... once covered in ornaments and lights they spark our hearts with drunken Christmas magic and it's the most beautiful time of year to me!
I love how our oldest Isabelle is totally smitten with my holiday/tradition madness... everything has to be so... everything has to be a tradition... everything has to be lovely!
but in a simple way...
We do the exact routine each year and now that she's older she remembers the routine and it's so sweet... I often watch her unfold each and every memory knowing that one day she will have her own family and pass down our memories to them as well... just as we have done...
sometimes I feel our home is a giant snow globe to the outside world... I love being home... and I tried my hardest to do so this year... in our snow globe there were memories made! there were giggles! there were happy children and happy parents... to the one outside shaking the snow around looking in... could have found us in our pajamas for days... playing games... making so much Christmas food... wrapping presents and just being together...
Our youngest is in that wonder stage... seeing Christmas through the eyes of children is something that I feel so lucky to witness... The excitement! The way their little hearts feel when I press my palm on their chests to feel their beating hearts... I know they are so happy!

Fall days....


















so yes, like always I'm so so so far behind... it's hard to be in so many places... but here I love maybe the most... a journal to keep track of where we have been... and where we are going... it's a beautiful thing and I cherish it so! a lot of things have happened and it's fun to look at the big picture... that in this life.. it keeps on going... the sun rises every day... and sets beautifully... bumps come up along the way and you have to just walk over them... enjoying the view... it's always there... you just sometimes have to see it. I've learned some powerful lessons in these last few months... I think really we learn every day... but the most important lessons that I have learned are lessons about appreciating these days! that's all they are, are days... woven in and out in patterns around our hearts... not stressing about things in life that seem big... really they are not... you will get through them all...